Comments on: Morris needs to re-pass the school levy: A letter to the editor

By: I am … unhindered by talent » Blog Archive » There’s a special circle in hell for this sort of thing…

Tue, 10 May 2005 04:05:52 +0000

[...] nt 5th/6th grade band concert and the amazing Peter Pan last week) with limited resources (here and the MARQS site), and it really sucks when some f [...]

By: Phi

Phi — Wed, 06 Apr 2005 04:51:17 +0000

I’ve revised the letter to take Elena’s excellent comments into account. Further suggestions are still welcome, but my plan is to send this to the paper tomorrow (Wednesday, 6 Apr 05) evening for Saturday’s paper.

By: Phi

Phi — Sun, 03 Apr 2005 15:50:48 +0000

Thanks a lot for the feedback.

I was worried about the length and wordiness of the opening paragraph, for example, but not entirely sure what to do about it. This makes it clear that I need to return to that more seriously, though.

I hadn’t really thought about how “stretching” might be interpreted negatively. Can you give me an example of what you mean there? Is this about pushing them outside of their (and perhaps their parents’) comfort zone, or is it an issue of too much homework, or …?

Thanks again!

By: Elena

Elena — Sun, 03 Apr 2005 15:43:30 +0000

I think the letter is nicely written and covers the right points. I have a couple of suggestions in terms of wording:

- the first paragraph is somewhat hard to read. I think saying the same things, but in a slightly simpler way would capture a larger audience.
- “Challenging and stretching students to meet those challenges” -> to meet those expectations?
- I am not sure I like the word “stretching”. It has negative connotations. Some parents may feel that their kids are already “stretched” too much. I would just leave the word “challenging”, I think it conveys the same idea and would be clearly seen as positive.

Just some suggestions, please feel free to disregard.

Elena