Anyone know of a “text” sheet program?

'Steward spreadsheets the pizza order' by Caterina
I’m writing some (Ruby) scripts to help my sister (a biologist) process and analyze some of her field data, and I keep running into spreadsheet programs that are too damn smart for our own good. She, like many/most non-programmer types, uses spreadsheet programs to organize and rearrange her data. Problem is that Excel keeps deciding knows better than we do what kind of data we have, and how it should be formatted. I can’t tell you how much time we’ve lost because it decides to rewrite dates and times in ways that break my script, not to mention inserting wacko header info, changing the line break characters, and deciding that animal tag labels are numbers in scientific notation. And, sadly, OpenOffice tends to play similar games, although the details are different.

With sufficient effort we can no doubt beat Excel and its friends into doing what we want, but I’m tired of this and would much rather have a tool that doesn’t fight us all the time. Does anyone out there know of a spreadsheet like program that’s more of a text editor and less like a word processor? I’d preferably like something simple, open source, and easy to use so I can sell it to my sister and (perhaps more importantly) she can sell it to her co-workers/co-authors as an alternative to a highly entrenched status quo. I’d like it to by default treat cell contents as basic text, and not race around interpreting and reinterpreting the data.

Anyone know of such a thing? Please? Whimper?

Also, sorry for the silence around here. In three weeks we move to the UK for a year and there’s rather a crap load of stuff that needs to be done. Doesn’t help that some bored stupid punk wanna-be hackers (no, really, I’m not pissed) have hacked our Computer Science lab at the U for the second time in a month. Damn, but that stuff ticks me off. Not like I could be getting any real work done instead of chasing these script kiddies around.

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Next thing you know, people might start walking

'Critical Mass Ride' by Famewhore
It’s long been the case in the U.S. that companies could get tax breaks on money they spent assisting employees in driving cars to/from work (including the vehicle itself, fuel, parking, etc.). Some crazy hippies or eco-terrorists or some such have proposed the radical idea that similar tax breaks should also exist in support of people cycling to work. H.R. 1498 would (according to the League of American Cyclists):

provide bicyclists with a similar tax benefit to that currently enjoyed by transit users and car parkers, through voluntary, employer-run programs. This small incentive to ride rather than drive to and from work should be seen as an important element of broader efforts to tackle climate change as well as traffic congestion, obesity and other critical challenges.

That clearly sounds like a terrible idea – it’s obviously my Great American Right to be fat, lazy, and drive a big-ass SUV whenever humanly possible, and lord knows the tax code should encourage such behavior whenever and however possible.

Wacko loonies who would actually wish to support such nonsense, however, can read the text of the bill or even contact your congress critters and publicly express your silly ideas.

I did, and it was fun!

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