Such a gift: 24 years with WeatherGrrrl

One of Sue's cool art books
One of Sue’s cool art books

â€Ĥa commodity has value and a gift does not. A gift has worth. – Lewis Hyde

Tomorrow (24 June) marks the 24th anniversary of our marriage!

There are so many things I’m grateful for, and no way to enumerate them or document them here, so I’ll settle for an example.

Among her many “strangely inventive” artistic talents, Sue makes books. Wonderful, handmade books, where she cuts and folds all the paper, sews together the signatures, builds the cover, and glues it all together. Some of these are displayed in galleries, while others (such as the one pictured here) are notebooks or journals filled with blank pages inviting us to share our thoughts in word or sketch.

For the past several years, Sue has made such journals as high school graduation gifts for our and, more substantially, Tom’s friends in that year’s graduating class. As he moves on to college, the numbers are beginning to contract, but over the years she’s made many dozens of these books, often for people we didn’t actually know terribly well. That’s a lot of work, constructing by hand an object whose future is far from certain. She is, after all, making blank books, in an age where the future of books is at best unclear, an age where most are far more likely to send a text message or post on a blog [I’M LOOKING AT ME!] than to write a letter or keep a journal on paper.

Thus these are, in the true sense that Hyde means in the opening quote, gifts. As handcrafted pieces of art, they have clear worth, but their value (and how they are valued by the recipients) is quite uncertain.

Yet she keeps making them. In a flurry of activity every May between the end of the University school year and the high school graduation she cuts and folds and glues and frets. She picks out different papers to use as covers, and has Tom give her feedback on which covers would make the most sense for which graduate. She increases the worth of the world (if not its value) through these gifts, each of which is in fact a multiple gift. It is obviously a gift to the graduate, but this effort is also a gift to our son, and a thank-you to the families of these students who have been important to him.

And, to the point of all this, these are also a gift to me. For while each of these books is made by her and is officially a gift from Thomas, her work enriches us all and the glow it casts as it goes out into the world reflects back on our whole family even if it was her hands that did all the sewing.

So I say “Thank You”, for this and the untold gifts large and small that she has shared with me. It has been a truly splendid 24 years together, and I look forward to many more decades to come!

With all my love,

     â€“ Nic

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A life alone: An incredibly powerful short video

You try to live your life like you used to, and the “used to” isn’t there.

It’s gone.

Gulp.

This is an incredible five minute piece combining beautiful still photography, video, and audio, that in a few short minutes captures the depth of love and the tragedy of loss in the life of Tom Rose, who is struggling to cope with the loss of his wife of 63 years. It is a form of multi-media poetry, powerfully distilling decades of life and experience into a frame or a sob.

Be warned – it’s not an easy watch. It is, in the end, a scary dark patch in all of our lives, and the lives of those we love and care for; a price we pay for the joy of being together is the pain of being apart.

Big props to Maisie Crow for such a fine piece of work. Every part of it is quite something, and together the pieces pack an enormous emotional wallop. And thanks to FlakPhoto for bringing it to my attention.

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